Body Language Communication

Communication and Awareness

My reflection this week has been about body language communication. The lack of awareness and how confusing it can be when what we say and what we show does not line up. When we think about communication it is usually about words. It is about what we are saying, how we say it and the tone of voice we use. Our voice reveals our emotional state and it can be in a whisper or we can shout it out.

But the most revealing communication is the way we use our body language. It doesn’t matter how aware you are and try to conceal something, the body will tell the story if you let your conscious mind slip for a moment. Your true body language shows up and no one can be in control a 100 % of the time.

Who We Really Are

Our body mirrors our feelings and our thoughts and shows us who we are at that given moment. It becomes obvious when we look at posture, how we walk, sit and present ourselves or when we walk into a room. You might notice on a day when you don’t feel well that you drag your feet and feel at least a couple of inches shorter than usual. Another day you might wake up and feel really good and spring out of bed because you have something exciting to look forward to and you are a foot taller. At least that’s how you feel. The first people notice aboout you is your body language and the communication starts without you even opening your mouth. This is the first impression you make.

Authentic Communication

We are all true and authentic when it comes to our body language. It shows our emotional and mental state and of course the physical state. So what is my point here? If we want to have a true authentic communication with other people and you tell one story with words but another one with your body, you will not be perceived as authentic. It is of value to look at what you say and what you do and make sure that those two have the same message.

By aligning your body language with the spoken message you will present yourself in another way but remember it has to come from inside to be authentic. Because as soon as you let your guard down the old body language will take over and there will be a discrepency in your communication.

A Few Tips for an Authentic Body Language

  • Think about your posture and that it takes core muscles to be able to stand tall or to sit without slumping.
  • If your breathing is high up in the chest it sends signal to the body that you are anxious and when you feel anxious the body language change and you tense up. Take a few slow conscious breaths to lower your breathing and relax.
  • Don’t be afraid to look people in the eyes and smile. This is very important especially if you feel anxious or nervous.
  • If you are about to give a presentation or a speech it is natural to feel anxious and the body will show it. Again smile and look people in the eyes and they will smile back at you and you will become more at ease.

There are many ways to work with our body language to become more aware but these are a few of the most important ones. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, take notice of your body language.  If you say one thing and feel that your body language tells another story you might not be able to communicate with conviction

Being a Therapist

In my work as a therapist and being a NLP practitioner I notice how we express ourselves with our body. I don’t judge but I do take notice of the tension and blockages that holds a person back.  I notice  hesitance, fear and anger but also joy and everything is expressed through the body.

This does not mean that you have to be constantly aware of your body language. It actually all starts with being authentic with your thoughts and your thoughts will carry your body’s message. It is when we are not true to ourselves that the body and the spoken language speaks different languages.


Fia Hobbs



The picture shows my dog who I was fortunate to have for over 16 years in my life. His body spoke the language of a big dog and he was not afraid of anything.


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